Tag Archive: yoga


…is that you often don’t feel like doing them a few weeks afterwards. I feel in quite a different space from my last post, when I was buzzing with goals and plans. Creating a manifestation collage for 2011 with my Sisters Circle revealed to me that my unconscious was bubbling up with some different ideas from my more linear cortex, which loves nothing more than to spin out endless to-do lists and goals.

Phrases like ‘breathe and relax’, ‘intuitive, ecstatic’, ‘slow down, be still’ and ‘fallow time’ as well as ‘your life, your way’ and ‘explore the treetops’ appeared in my collage, and it makes me feel more relaxed and less driven just looking at it. Despite Jude now being at the Dharma School 15 hours a week, I’ve not been doing as much writing as I intended, but not out of wanting to avoid it or procrastinate: more due to an increase in yoga teaching opportunities and a backlog of admin that urgently needed attending to (really, honestly!), because it somehow never was in the busy-ness of full time Stay-at-Home-Mom-ness: tax returns, admin for my course, blah blah…I won’t bore you anymore. I’m continuing to schedule in writing time week by week, and am confident that I will settle into a good fiction writing routine once my current freelance writing projects are complete. When I am working on my novel, it’s flowing much better and is a lot more enjoyable.

As I’d resolved to do monthly, on Wednesday night I went along to e.g. poetry, an event with published poets and open mike slots. It was good to read some of my work, but my honest feeling was that I didn’t connect with much of the poetry I heard, and in fact I find it a lot easier to read poetry than hear it. It felt very much like a ‘should’ to go there, when I felt more like going to a 5 Rhythms class. That’s another interesting thing about resolutions, plans and goals. Hhmm.

This week, I’m noticing what happens when I just follow the energy where it wants to go, without forcing. This does mean I only did my tax return yesterday, 4 days before the deadline, but it got done. Next time I will share more with you about an amazing workshop I attended last weekend, working on clearing limbic imprints, where all our emotional responses are stored. It has definitely left me with a different balance between the internal ‘slave driver’ and the part of me that wants to just enjoy life. It made me realise that money (while useful) is far less important to me than having creative dreaming time, time alone, and time in nature.

The volume has been turned up on the enjoying life bit, and this is a new experience for me. I’m taking walks in the woodland around the corner from Jude’s school whenever the weather allows – something I was hardly ever able to do when Jude was with me full time, at least not in the same way. I’m having naps when I want to. Lying in bed reading. It’s delicious. My challenge to you this week is to just notice what you really want to do and what you feel you should do – and investigate what happens when you follow the first one a little more (with the usual caveat of it not harming anyone else of course!)

 

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Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. As a mother, writer and yoga teacher, I’ve been thinking lately about the gap between our ideals and the real messiness of life. As a mother, so often I’m measuring myself up against some idea of the perfect mother, and I know from talking to my friends that this is a not uncommon experience. Whether we’re ‘attachment parenting’ or following Gina Ford’s schedules, we’re all trying our best to do the right thing, and this can be a lonely journey.

But it’s other gaps too. In many areas of life. The gap between doing and being: between going after your goals and just allowing things you need to flow towards you. The gap between focusing and multi-tasking. The gap between  my mom friends and my friends who haven’t crossed this bridge yet, or may never do so. The gap between being a writer and a creative person and, as a parent, having to put another being’s needs first. Negotiating these differences can feel like stepping across a chasm at times. Other times it happens in a more fluid space.

I’ve just returned from a wonderful week at Midsummer Camp in which many of these contradictions could exist side by side. I was able to be a mother and also a woman, friend, dancer, hedonist. I could play, dancing around a fire, and also be serious and soulful with long conversations under the stars. I could take my son for a fun wheelbarrow ride and pretend we were going to Africa, and have a release of tears in a singing workshop a couple of hours later.

Most importantly the co-parenting that evolved from the communal living situation at this camp showed me that the different parts of me could be held in a space, allowed to be, and flourish, as I was not carrying the full burden of my son’s wellbeing – and let’s face it, in our society where parenting is done largely alone, it is set up to be something of a burden. He benefited from it too, and I could see him blossom as he interacted with others and experienced the freedom of movement that is so difficult to find in the city.

I want more of this, and I want to explore how to do this in our everyday lives. Join me to share ideas on how you do it – whether you are an artist, writer, office worker, businessperson, parent or non-parent.

I will share my tips and ideas on how I live with these gaps or attempt to do so, including: simple yoga and breathing exercises, visualisations, books that have helped me, etc. So join me on this journey as we attempt to not only straddle the gap but be comfortable in it!