…is that you often don’t feel like doing them a few weeks afterwards. I feel in quite a different space from my last post, when I was buzzing with goals and plans. Creating a manifestation collage for 2011 with my Sisters Circle revealed to me that my unconscious was bubbling up with some different ideas from my more linear cortex, which loves nothing more than to spin out endless to-do lists and goals.
Phrases like ‘breathe and relax’, ‘intuitive, ecstatic’, ‘slow down, be still’ and ‘fallow time’ as well as ‘your life, your way’ and ‘explore the treetops’ appeared in my collage, and it makes me feel more relaxed and less driven just looking at it. Despite Jude now being at the Dharma School 15 hours a week, I’ve not been doing as much writing as I intended, but not out of wanting to avoid it or procrastinate: more due to an increase in yoga teaching opportunities and a backlog of admin that urgently needed attending to (really, honestly!), because it somehow never was in the busy-ness of full time Stay-at-Home-Mom-ness: tax returns, admin for my course, blah blah…I won’t bore you anymore. I’m continuing to schedule in writing time week by week, and am confident that I will settle into a good fiction writing routine once my current freelance writing projects are complete. When I am working on my novel, it’s flowing much better and is a lot more enjoyable.
As I’d resolved to do monthly, on Wednesday night I went along to e.g. poetry, an event with published poets and open mike slots. It was good to read some of my work, but my honest feeling was that I didn’t connect with much of the poetry I heard, and in fact I find it a lot easier to read poetry than hear it. It felt very much like a ‘should’ to go there, when I felt more like going to a 5 Rhythms class. That’s another interesting thing about resolutions, plans and goals. Hhmm.
This week, I’m noticing what happens when I just follow the energy where it wants to go, without forcing. This does mean I only did my tax return yesterday, 4 days before the deadline, but it got done. Next time I will share more with you about an amazing workshop I attended last weekend, working on clearing limbic imprints, where all our emotional responses are stored. It has definitely left me with a different balance between the internal ‘slave driver’ and the part of me that wants to just enjoy life. It made me realise that money (while useful) is far less important to me than having creative dreaming time, time alone, and time in nature.
The volume has been turned up on the enjoying life bit, and this is a new experience for me. I’m taking walks in the woodland around the corner from Jude’s school whenever the weather allows – something I was hardly ever able to do when Jude was with me full time, at least not in the same way. I’m having naps when I want to. Lying in bed reading. It’s delicious. My challenge to you this week is to just notice what you really want to do and what you feel you should do – and investigate what happens when you follow the first one a little more (with the usual caveat of it not harming anyone else of course!)
.
Mind the Gap 
Hey Lady – well look what happened to me after I read your book! 4 days of well paid work came out of the blue and the minding job I had for today got canceled (but not by me) to make way for it! I very much enjoyed it and am focusing on the idea of BOTH. As in, finding ways to get out of the either / or mentality. As in I earn lots of money AND get to spend lots of time with my family and friends…. I am getting very excited by the idea of yoga teacher training too. Or at least the idea of getting really into my yoga. I think its going to be something really fundamentally grounding and important in my life. Interesting idea of going with what you WANT to do on a more intuitive level and seeing how it goes…. And as for doing more creative stuff with the Bubs at preschool. Am too wading through some admin – tax returns complete – just got to pay the bill before Monday!! Oh I love the idea of the various %s in jars or accounts. It sounds right. And 10% giving. I like that too. Am going to pay for the art retreat I am going on by doing that. Its education and play money!!
just found this quote. aposite. “When you follow your bliss . . . doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.”
– Joseph Campbell
Great post! I’ve spent much of the last few days doing crafts in front of the telly and feeling vaguely guilty about not being more productive even though I’m on annual leave. It’s difficult, when your usual life speed is a sprint, to slow down and just enjoy. But I’m getting there – today is going to be about baking and more crafts! Can’t wait 🙂
Really enjoyed your post, thank you! Love this… “The volume has been turned up on the enjoying life bit”
Enjoy! 🙂
Thanks Karin, Moyra and Michelle.
Karin I like what you said about ‘sprinting’ vs slowing down. I find it difficult to change paces but am learning! And motherhood helps me b/c I have no choice but to slow down, if I don’t want to be a ratty, crappy mom that is 😉
Moyra, so glad the book helped! And I LOVE that quote from Joseph Campbelll, thanks for reminding me of it. The idea of ‘both’ instead of either/or is something I definitely need to work on embodying more. Although i am mindful of the ‘superwoman’ ideal of ‘having it all’ i.e. work, money and family and how that has, in reality, done a lot of damage to women and families due to high expectations and burnout. I think to avoid that overwhelm a real paradigm shift is required, and a lot more support from ‘society’.